Slow and steady wins the race

As someone who is quite analytical and motivated I  am constantly assessing ways in which I can make changes and improve my life. For example there are unhealthy habits I have formed such as eating too many sweets and as of late watching far too much television.  I would like to change these and other…

There is no room for pride in relationships

The other day I was lamenting to my older sister about an argument my boyfriend and I had. He has a way of going silent to retreat and think when he is upset or hurt. His reaction unfortunately triggers my fear of abandonment and leaves me feeling a bit anxious. As I was discussing with…

When we can’t see the Mountains

I first moved to California in July 2009.  I knew there were mountains surrounding me because I had visited before, however, I could not see the mountains; smog covered them for the first couple months I was here.  Though I knew they were there from memory, I could not see them.  It was not until…

Why Black Lives should Matter to us All

I am a white Irish woman who grew up in Wisconsin in a low income neighborhood. Growing up in that neighborhood allowed me to interact with people from different backgrounds and equally as important, my mother taught me a very important lesson at a young age.  It was a simple lesson of empathy and love. Love everyone without exceptions.…

The Modern Scarlet Letter

Most of us have heard the story the Scarlet Letter where the woman is punished for having an affair. She is chastisted and forced to wear the letter “A” on her chest as a constant reminder of her adultery.  The time period of the book is the mid 1600s. Nowadays when most people read the…

Forgiving myself and letting go of guilt

Why is it forgiving ourselves seems far more difficult than forgiving others? I have always been a pretty forgiving person. I am usually the first one to call after an argument and was the peace maker in my family growing up. But when it comes to forgiving myself, well that’s a different story.  In the…

If he is interested you will know

If he is interested you will know because he will 1. Talk to you 2. Ask for your number and call you! (Not text I said call) 3. Ask you out, treat you with respect, call you  4. Ask you out again  5. Be consistent 6. Things will progress  You do not need to spend…

Dating in Cali

“My female friend (who is engaged to an amazing man) recently said to me it seems like men in Cali want you to pursue them, unlike men out here.” I thought about it and she is right.  I don’t know if times are changing, due to social media, and people not interacting as much in…

Stop giving all the benefits

Stop giving all the benefits without the commitment. If you desire commitment from him and you are doing everything for him, you need to stop.  I dont care if you are cooking, cleaning, giving him pedicures, washing his briefs, giving him massages, buying him things, sexing him, it is not going to make him commit. …

Emotional Hangover

I woke up this morning and rubbed leftover tears from eyes, I had a feeling of unease and sadness. I knew right away, I had a hangover. Not the kind from a night of drinking and partying, no, this was the kind from a night of texting with an ex.  I had an emotional hangover. It…