The other day I was lamenting to my older sister about an argument my boyfriend and I had. He has a way of going silent to retreat and think when he is upset or hurt. His reaction unfortunately triggers my fear of abandonment and leaves me feeling a bit anxious. As I was discussing with my sister my frustration at his reaction, with calm big sister wisdom, she said “there is no room for pride in relationships.” I realized instantly she is right. I was being petty, fearful, and prideful instead of being loving and realizing my words may have hurt his feelings (not purposely) and this was just his way of dealing with it (though his Way-silence and my way- talking about everything right away) are different. One is not better than the other, just different. She was right. I needed to set my pride aside for the sake of our relationship and because I care. I needed to give him what he needed which was time and some space. He also gives me what I need which is communication. It is about balance and compromise and setting your pride aside for the sake of being a loving partner. Of course you need your needs met as well it is not to say you or your partner should be selfish but we do have to take into account our partners needs (in this case some space) even if it frustrates us at times. After all we joined a partnership so it is no longer JUST about ourselves.