Why is it forgiving ourselves seems far more difficult than forgiving others?
I have always been a pretty forgiving person. I am usually the first one to call after an argument and was the peace maker in my family growing up. But when it comes to forgiving myself, well that’s a different story.
In the book The Four Agreements Don Miguel Ruiz says we have a judge in our minds that criticizes us for our mistakes. Well my judge is harsher than Judge Judy. I mean can I get a break.
The problem with harshly judging my mistakes is it turns to guilt which turns to feeling I need to somehow be punished which leads to destructive behavior which causes more judgement. As you can see this is not a productive process.
I realize that harsh judgment is not healthy and serves no purpose. It is important to learn what I could have done differently but being highly critical of myself for being human is not helpful.
I am slowly learning how to let go of judgment and guilt for my mistakes.
Here are some things that help me.
1. Talking it through with a trusted confidant- they can provide more clarity from the outside looking in
2. Meditation- relax, breathe and let go of the negative thoughts/judgement
3. Yoga- yoga helps center and bring you back to your true self
4. Journaling- write down what happened and what you could have done differently
5. Let go- of the guilt let it go it serves no purpose we are human mistakes happen
6. I am not my mistakes- learn from them but remember they do not define you and who you are at you core
Sometimes even when I practice all of these things, I am still really hard on myself, then I remind myself I have to forgive myself for being unforgiving of myself 🙂
Love and light