Emotional Eating

This is a post I’ve been dreading but felt compelled to do.

When you admit to issues you face you open yourself up to a world of criticism from others, but you can also help others who are struggling as well, and that is my hope here.

My story with emotional eating beagan in my early twenties. I was thin all my life but my last year of high school due to a very stressful relationship, I gained quite a bit of weight. 

After the relationship ended because he was cheating on me and wanted to be with her, I got depressed and gained more weight.

Eventually I began to heal and around age 22 I lost 50 lbs within the year. I looked great,  but felt hungry a lot.  I lost the weight from working out intensely two times a day and eating a very low calorie diet. Because I was so restrictive I began secretly (at night when everyone was sleeping) sneaking and hurriedly eating all types of junk food ( mostly sweets). 

I didn’t do it very often so I didn’t gain a whole lot of weight back, maybe ten pounds. 

Fast forward a couple years. The first time I moved out of my house, I moved 2000 miles away from home and didn’t know anyone. To say I was lonely and stressed is an understatement. So I went back to my old habit of emotional eating. The food, in an odd way, gave me comfort. (Sweets have always been my favorite because my grandma and my mom are amazing bakers!) So I would eat in my room alone. Trying to overcome the loneliness I felt (counter productive, I know). 

At first these binges would happen maybe once a week. Then it got to the point I was doing it daily. I must add I was also working at a place where we got free food, free lunch and free desserts daily and there was a lot!! Cheesecake, cookies, pastries, food, food food.  Food became like a drug for me,an escape from anxiety, loneliness and fear. Working there was like giving free drugs to an addict daily. 

I got to the point I was eating more than one dessert a day plus lots of other food. 

I wish I could say I have cured myself of this but 55 lbs later, I cannot. I can tell you I’m on the road to recovery but I don’t restrict like I used to. Restricting leads to binging and its why diets don’t work. I don’t diet or have “cheat meals” because labeling food good and bad is not beneficial for me. I do try and eat from the Earth, foods that give me energy and make my body feel good.

 I will lose the weight and overcome my emotional eating habits.  But this time in a healthy way. By managing stress, doing things I enjoy, having fun with friends, excersise and eating foods that nourish my body. 

This post was not easy for me to write but a lot of people see I’ve gained weight and they judge me, but they don’t know my story. I am not lazy or dumb or fat or chunky. I am a human being who used food to cope (we all have something). So please stop judging people so harshly, you don’t know their story! 

Thanks for reading

Love and light 

MM

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2 thoughts on “Emotional Eating

  1. Have no fear, I’m not a critic. πŸ™‚ but I can totally relate. I developed an eating disorder after my boyfriend cheated on me, and I totally felt for you reading this. I remember going through emotional eating of my own (I literally ate around 9 – 10 meals a day!) just wanted to tell you to keep your head up! Love your blog and just followed, looking forward to more of your posts! Might want to check out my blog too πŸ™‚

    Like

    1. Thank you for your thoughtful kind words and for following my blog! It is difficult when we go through tough times. In the moment it feels like comfort but later on the reality hits that it is not going to help anything in fact with weight gain it can make things worse. I too have eaten that many meals per day, when you feel empty there will never be enough food to fill us up. That’s why I know it is more about managing my emotions healthfully. Thank you for sharing with me!

      Liked by 1 person

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