I woke up this morning and rubbed leftover tears from eyes, I had a feeling of unease and sadness. I knew right away, I had a hangover. Not the kind from a night of drinking and partying, no, this was the kind from a night of texting with an ex. I had an emotional hangover.
It started yesterday with a text from him (the guy I dated a couple months ago, who I really cared about). He asked how I was doing and told me he missed me. The reasons we are no longer dating are too personal to explain here but simply put, he has a lot going on in his life, and our timing was off.
We continued texting about the things that are going on in our lives, and then it took a different turn. He started telling me all the things I should have done differently when we dated. I was actually ok with him doing this; I think constructive criticism, even from an ex, can be very beneficial. It can help you understand what to do differently in your future relationships, and most of the things he stated were correct. He also told me how much he did care about me and about all my many great qualities as well. It was the kind of amazing closure one can only hope for.
Unfortunately, the tone of the texting changed yet again, and he began telling me about this woman he is dating (mind you he basically told me he was too busy to date right now). I told him I am happy for him and wish them the best. But he kept on going (even after I said I don’t want to hear details about them). He told me what she does for a living, what they spend their time doing, and how he is taking her on a trip this weekend. I completely get that he was trying to make me jealous, but it still was hurtful nonetheless. He also started saying sort of rude stuff about me, which was uncalled for. I believe what he was doing, was stemming from the hurt he felt because I had told him we cannot be together for various reasons. However, it is still not ok. It is no ok to try and hurt someone because you are hurt. I am a firm believer we all need to take responsibility for our own emotions, but you should not purposely try and make someone upset. Nonetheless, I am not mad at him because I have been there; I have exhibited the same behavior, when I was hurt too.
So, what is the cure for an emotional hangover? Time, self-care, keeping busy, and knowing that although it hurts, life does go on, and it will get better.