I began online dating when I moved to Cali 7 years ago because I did not know anyone. I have been on and off various sites throughout the years And it has been interesting to say the least.
Oh the stories I could tell. I have had some great dates and then some bad ones. One guy tried to tell me about my lip gloss and that my pants were too short, I explained they are ankle pants and he tried to argue with me. He also ordered food for himself and didn’t ask if I wanted anything, needless to say I left that date super early. Another guy asked me out then in person told me I’m too big and that his ex is a fitness model and he only dates thin women (even though I always put honest and recent pics for this reason). So he was delusional.
I have learned with all the crazy convos, rude/vulgar messages, and bad dates you have to have thick skin.
I have also learned a lot of people online date with no intention but to pump their ego and hook up. You have to weed through a lot of “oh baby your sexy” ( yes they spell you’re like that) posts to find a winner.
I once read how you date online is how you date in person and this is true. You are just exposed to more people in online dating so when things go wrong it can seem a bit more discouraging. Like how can I have gone on 20 dates and none of them have worked out? Well its because 18 of those people you would have never met in your day to day life. So if you are meeting more people going on more dates, you are going to have more dates that don’t work out.
Things that have helped me navigate the online dating world.
1. Have thick skin
2. Be confident
3. Know what you want and let that be known (I’m not saying on a first date say I want to get married this year) but be clear on what you are looking for
4 be Leary of red flags: guys who say misogynistic things on their profile, who write in the third person about themselves (narcasist), who say rude or vulgar things. And please for the love of God say no to guys flipping of the camera..no just no..for all of our sake..just no
5. Give people you normally might not a chance. Online is the perfect place for this because you have access to all types of people. Be open minded about height, race, location (within reason long distance can be hard) etc. Love rarely comes in the package we expect ( this will be a later blog post)
6. Have fun getting to know people don’t expect every person you meet to be a love connection. I have made friends with men I met online and I am so glad I met them!
Online dating has its ups and downs but as a single person it can be a great way to connect with people you would have never met, without it. As with everything in life be positive and enjoy the experience! Best of luck!
Love and light