I have been meaning to do this for a while. I have always enjoyed writing in journals, poetry, and papers in college. In fact, I preferred essay exams over multiple choice (crazy, I know). However, to write publicly is a whole different beast. I feared opening myself up to criticism and judgement, thus I put if off. I now realize the only thing worse than fear of writing publicly is regret from not expressing myself, with a gift I was given.
I do not know the exact direction of this blog yet, I just know, I have to do it.
Moving to California from Wisconsin a little over seven years ago has been quite the experience. In that time, I have gained so much knowledge, independence, and understanding. I have graduated college, traveled outside the country, and met new friends. I have also lost three grandparents, my nephew had open heart surgery at ten years old (4years ago), my other nephew had a tumor a few months ago (thank God it was benign), and we found out a week ago my stepdad has cancer(more to come on this heart-breaking news).
Needless to say life, as always, has had its ups and downs. People (my mother included) often ask me, why don’t you just move back? I have no family here; all my long-term friends are there. This is not an easy question, because I don’t really have a great answer.
It would be easier to just go back to who and what I know. To have support and be there for my friends and family and vice versa. However, if I am being completely transparent, a part of me feels going back NOW (I eventually will likely go back), I would be settling. I feel many people there get complacent, and they settle for their lives (this is a gross generalization). I of course do not mean all people by any means. But there is something about the hustle of Cali, the entrepreneur opportunities, that draws me to it (the great weather doesn’t hurt either).
Ironically I oftentimes miss the quietness and slower-paced life Wisconsin provides. I cannot tell you how many times I have debated with myself about going back but I just don’t feel I am done with Cali, at least not yet