“They gone try ya” was advice given to me by my late friend Reicko Jones.
Reicko and I met through my friend B. White (Brandon). I was immediately drawn to Reicko’s fun loving, charismatic energy. He and I remained friends throughout the years and would often have 3 hour conversations. One of best road trips I have taken was with two of my girlfriends, to go visit him; in this tiny town in Iowa (he was going to college and playing football there). Reicko eventually moved back to West Palm Beach, FL where he and B. White had grown up together.
We always remained in contact and on one particular conversation Reicko (who always told it like it is) was giving me dating advice (as he liked to do). He said “They gone try ya” (in his southern accent). I said what do you mean? He explained: A lot of single men will try you. They will try and get away with doing as little as possible to get what they desire, such as sex. They will test how much you are willing to do for them, will as little effort as possible. (Disclaimer: he was not talking about all men lol).
I never forget what he said. Thinking back I have seen so many examples of this in mine and friends dating lives, too many to name in fact. But one example happened to me recently. I had a guy write me online and ask me about myself. He is attractive, polite, educated, and has a job lol, so I wrote back. He later asked me to go for drinks that weekend (I am not a big drinker) but I said ok, figuring I would maybe have one. When I asked him where he said well I was thinking I could just make drinks for us at my house. Um say what? You need to cut it…cut it…cut it…. But for real? Really? You have made zero effort to get to know me (ie phone calls, dates, even texts back and forth). He really thought it would just be that easy? I politely said I do not know you enough to do that but if you would ever like to meet up (in a public place), let me know.
Look I get it, it is human nature to want to take the easy road but come on. Do I know there are many women who would have said yes to him? Of course. Do I judge those women, not at all. But I can only speak for myself, you gots to try harder, and put in way more effort than that.
So ladies, when men try ya, do what’s best for you. But please make sure you are not settling for scraps.
I cherish the conversations he and I had, Reicko unfortunately was tragically shot and killed in 2010 (only 27 years old) RIP Reicko Jones (1983-2010).